still breathin'

Blog post by Jace on Fri, 2008-01-04 02:29

i'm going to miss those of you at Haiku who are moving on. i'm in a dark time of my life, maybe the end, and i revisit the old good times now and then and BeOS is one of the bright, shining gems, despite the bittersweet facts of how it all went down.

i'm still breathing at the moment. i still run BeOS (GoBe Productive owns all my writing ;-) and i could use tips on getting out of the DNS nightmare i am having with Verizon and BeOS Pro R5.0.3 ... :-(

i've not had any contact with anyone from beunited.org despite attempts over the last two years (not great attempts, but some). If anyone from beunited.org wants to regroup, let me know.

BeWine is still a nowhere project for the same reasons as before, sorry.

Once everything changes over at Haiku, please please please do not make Haiku into a Linux, MacOSX or Windows. PLEASE. Remember the ideals and the models. Classic MacOS simplicity of design, modern function and PalmOS-like live states of data and functions and no "OK CANCEL APPLY" or all that shtupe.

Most of all, keep the current design motif. It is beautiful and is original.

and i am STILL holding on to the ridiculous hope that Access will eventually open source some parts of BeOS. i sent them a request just a few days ago (nicely). Who knows. i mean, i still own a PalmOS device which i am still in love with (Zodiac2) and when i booted BeOS just yesterday and felt its warm touch again... it made me smile. How geeky is that?

Best to you all and keep in touch if you like :-)

-jace of the BeOS/Haiku/BeUnited Communities

http://dysamoria.com

Comments

Re: still breathin'

by BiPolar - 2008-01-04 12:53

It is quite difficult, if not impossible, to find the right (read: meaningful) words to say to someone who's going through dark times in life. I know that, from both sides (my user name may give you a hint).

Sometimes you just need to hit the bottom (several times) in order to be able to start climbing up.

I can only hope that, as it happened to me, life end up showing it's brighter side for you, and hopefully in far less time than it did for me.

Take care, Jace.

P.S.: as usual, please excuse my broken English.

Re: still breathin'

by Jace - 2008-01-04 13:37

thanks so much for your kind words. your English is just fine :-) i speak ONLY English, so i'm the one who feels bad ;-)

Re: still breathin'

by jdashton - 2008-01-04 15:33

Hang in there, Jace. Life really is precious, even when it looks bleak.

I'm with you, especially on the love for sweet software. I owned a license for NeXTSTEP Intel, and would have loved to have owned NeXT and Be hardware when it was available. Even today I would eagerly make a place in my home for any of those machines.

I've also really appreciated having PalmOS on a couple of my phones. I got an encouraging word a few months back, from someone who should know, stating that he believes Palm will visibly improve their love for the PalmOS in the new year. So I'm hopeful.

Re: still breathin'

by silentjohn - 2008-01-04 16:19

Hi Jace,

it's just the beginning, not the end. Sometimes I feel lost, alone in the world, without any hope for normal life. After dark moments (hours, days) always comes something good, news about friends, Haiku (that always make me smile ;))),etc. I felt emptiness when Be became bankrupt, I thought that it's the end, the coolness, innovation and great ideas are dead in OS world. And now ... 2008, Haiku is growing faster than ever. Great news!!! So find a way to push these nightmares away. If I can spare enough money, I'm going to learn kendo. Maybe there's something what you find interesting.
Regarding Haiku and BeOS I'm back after a year long break. Unfortunately I haven't got any BeOS-compatible machine but I feel strong motivation to build a new one. I think that Access never will release any parts of the BeOS code but it doesn't matter. BeOS (Haiku) will raise again!!! :D

Best wishes and good to hear about you!

P.S.: Sorry for my horrible English 8p

Re: still breathin'

by nutela - 2008-01-05 20:11

Hi Jace, I guess you are the Jace from KVR?

Wow man you shock me! Those are some drastic feelings, hat off.

Dark times, everyone has or has had those, if you want to get out don't pay attention to the thoughts, get a distraction, leave your place, start anew. For real improvement you could try this; Avatar avatarepc.com I did this and it was the most amazing thing, I'm still returning to it.

Take care Jace. Mail me at wegspam at wolke7 . net if you want.

Nutela

Re: still breathin'

by mikesum32 - 2008-01-06 03:18

I was surprised at the way you looked at the first WalterCon. You had short hair instead of the long hair of your avatar. Now you look like Superman III. ;-)

Hang in there.

I've got to head out the door. I'll see if I can't e-mail you later.

Re: still breathin'

by tonestone57 - 2008-01-06 18:13

Remove all stress in your life! If your job is causing you stress then look for another one. Life is too short to be stressed & unhappy. Look to do things that will take away stress & make you happy; get rid of the negative energy around you.

Free DNS ( should solve your Verizon issue ):
http://www.opendns.com

OpenDNS servers:
208.67.222.222
208.67.220.220

Don't worry about BeWine. One day it'll happen. I'm sure that with ReactOS it'll make things easier to get Windows working on Haiku some day. Presently Haiku is going slow but with Alpha, Beta & Final releases it should attract more & more users & developers and hopefully gain momentum.

Access is not likely to opensource anything from BeOS. They'd have to spend time to look through the code & make sure it is clean, ie: that there are no NDAs from third parties. And they don't want to use up their time doing this. Also, they probably do not want to give up source code for free that they paid for and belongs to them. Still, asking doesn't hurt but don't expect anything.

Re: still breathin'

by El-Al - 2008-01-06 18:26

"i've not had any contact with anyone from beunited.org despite attempts over the last two years (not great attempts, but some). If anyone from beunited.org wants to regroup, let me know."

Jace, If you get no response from the former BeUnited team you maybe ought to consider restarting from scratch. I'd be more than willing to help if your interested.

Keep your chin up. Sometimes things ain't always as bad as they seem. When one door closes in your life, another one will surely open.

take care.

Re: still breathin'

by tangobravo - 2008-01-13 12:41

Hi Jace

Not really sure what to say here. I looked at your website which really makes clear just how dark this time is for you. I feel thoroughly unqualified to post anything after reading your site for maybe an hour, after you have already done so much of your own research into AS and obviously know yourself far better than anyone, least of all me.

What I will say is that people in my experience are generally capable of both empathy and sympathy, even towards others who are essentially strangers. When people are more closely linked through work, friendship or whatever things obviously get more complicated, and individual feelings caused by past actions or biased memories sometimes get in the way. I've always liked the BeOS/Haiku community, and I think it is a much better reflection of humanity as a whole that people have responded to your blog post here without knowing you very well on a personal level (I presume), yet still hoping that you make it through this difficult period of your life.

I'll add my hope to theirs, and to those who have read your post but simply not known how to respond - I hope soon you see the dawn of a brighter part of life. If you ever want to email me, feel free - simontaylor1 [guess appropriate email symbol] ntlworld [and another] com. You're not alone.

Simon
Hoping he doesn't sound too much like a pop-psychologist, but suspecting he probably does!

Re: still breathin'

by Jace - 2008-01-22 22:35

i agree, this community has always been a nice and friendly one. It is one main reason why i stayed around for so long and keep coming back. i consider myself lucky to have been able to attend the first WalterCon, because i was able to meet, in person, several people i only knew from online... and they are all nice, thoughtful people.

Thanks for your comments and well wishes :-)

Re: still breathin'

by nutela - 2008-01-24 11:47

Hi Jace, BG was excellent especially because of the people.

Hang in there. The weather is getting better here (spring maybe?)